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Bloodred Forum - View topic - Another GREAT CL ad!
It is currently Wed Feb 21, 2018 5:48 am




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 Another GREAT CL ad! 
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Bloodred Metalhead
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Joined: Sun Sep 21, 2008 11:12 pm
Posts: 354
Post Another GREAT CL ad!
vancouver, BC craigslist > vancouver > community > musicians
AGE OF THE METAL GODS (VALHALLA AND BEYOND!!!)

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Date: 2011-02-03, 7:33PM PST
Reply to: comm-neeq9-2196267220@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

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ONLY THE HARDEST CORED DETHMETALHEADS NEED APPLY!!!

Absolutely INHUMAN MEGAMETAL MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE seek... no... DEMAND to forge an UNHOLY HAMMER OF LOUD IN THE FURNACE OF HELL!!!

If you can't tune your guitar to drop H and play 480 bpm triplet licks THAT MELT THE VERY FLESH FROM HUMAN BONES then GET FUCKED!!!!

TRIPLE HARMONIZZZED ILLYIAD-LENGTH SOLOS PLAYED SO FAST THEY'RE OVER BEFORE RECORDED TIME BEGINS!!!

DOUBLE KICK lines that SPLIT THE VERY FOUNDATIONS OF STONEHENGE IN TWAIN!!!!

ULTRAPERCUSSIVE BASS that sends SHOCKWAVES into THE CENTRE OF REALITY, IMPREGNATING MAN AND WOMAN ALIKE with DEMONIC OFFSPRING!!!!

KEYBOARD RUNS SO FAST they WEAR YOUR FINGERS DOWN to nubs like A SCUBADIVER TRAPPED IN AN UNDERWATER CAVE TRYING TO CLAW HIS WAY TO OXYGEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

IF YOU POSSESS A HUMAN BRAIN and EXPECT TO COMPREHEND THE TIME SIGNATURES YOU WILL PLAY PREPARE TO NOT HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA!!!!



IF YOUR ENTIRE BODY IS MADE OF THE SAME MATERIAL AS THE TESTICLES OF ZEUS....

then prepare to surrender your very soul to ODIN HIMSELF!!!!!!






must have own transportation, as practices are held ON THE BANKS OF THE FUCKING RIVER STYX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




•Location: VALHALLA AND BEYOND!!!
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



PostingID: 2196267220

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Sat Feb 05, 2011 12:45 am
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Joined: Tue Sep 23, 2008 9:54 pm
Posts: 793
Post Re: Another GREAT CL ad!
That's fantastic. I think a lot more bands would be better off with attitudes like that.

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Sat Feb 05, 2011 2:26 pm
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Borderline Pleasant QUEEN BEE
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Joined: Fri Sep 19, 2008 1:07 pm
Posts: 1400
Location: Vancouver
Post Re: Another GREAT CL ad!
HAHAHAHAH PRICELESS.


Sat Feb 05, 2011 4:51 pm
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